Harry Dresden [The Dresden Files] (![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} wizard_dresden) wrote,@ 2007-03-10 09:20:00 |
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notes on previous!other!Harry
Previous!Other!Harry - he was afraid of eveyrthing... no, really, nearly everything. All b/c of Justin. I mean, the guy lost his family by the time he was 8, then was taken in by a child molester who taught through fear - 'do this (do this right) or you will be punished severely' - so he was afraid to screw up, afraid of 'being bad', but he was also, only really taught 'dark' magic. He never got that positive influence from McCoy, so he didn't know he had any other choice.
Then, when he was sent to other!M'ways, he started to get some of it, but he was still VERY hesitant to let ppl in - since the only ppl who'd been let in before either were dead or had hurt him. He had SERIOUS trust issues and never WANTED anyone to get close, but those persistant bastards at the bar just HAD to make him take a look at things differently.
Not that that's bad - he just wasn't mentally stable enough to handle it - it all came on a little too fast for his damaged psyche to handle. Especially once he discovered he actually knew how to love someone - that scared the hell out of him, b/c he always had that fear that Justin was right there waiting to punish him for doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing. More than that though, he was afraid of being alone - so when he then fell in love with Bethany, he didn't want to give up David, b/c he was afraid of being left alone if one or the other decided they didn't want him anymore. He thought he needed a 'back-up' - even after he told David they couldn't be together anymore.
And he really tried to make the relationship with Bethany work, but when it got rocky - he didn't know what to do. He honestly never expected Bethany to dump him after one mistake, that he didn't feel was entirely his fault. He just didn't understand how the relationship was supposed to work. His only knowledge of romantic relationships came from the books he read - and ppl in those made mistakes all the time, but still go to keep the relationship - it was all he knew and it really upset him that instead of teaching him, she left him to try to figure it out on his own - and he just couldn't do it.
Previous!Other!Harry - he was afraid of eveyrthing... no, really, nearly everything. All b/c of Justin. I mean, the guy lost his family by the time he was 8, then was taken in by a child molester who taught through fear - 'do this (do this right) or you will be punished severely' - so he was afraid to screw up, afraid of 'being bad', but he was also, only really taught 'dark' magic. He never got that positive influence from McCoy, so he didn't know he had any other choice.
Then, when he was sent to other!M'ways, he started to get some of it, but he was still VERY hesitant to let ppl in - since the only ppl who'd been let in before either were dead or had hurt him. He had SERIOUS trust issues and never WANTED anyone to get close, but those persistant bastards at the bar just HAD to make him take a look at things differently.
Not that that's bad - he just wasn't mentally stable enough to handle it - it all came on a little too fast for his damaged psyche to handle. Especially once he discovered he actually knew how to love someone - that scared the hell out of him, b/c he always had that fear that Justin was right there waiting to punish him for doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing. More than that though, he was afraid of being alone - so when he then fell in love with Bethany, he didn't want to give up David, b/c he was afraid of being left alone if one or the other decided they didn't want him anymore. He thought he needed a 'back-up' - even after he told David they couldn't be together anymore.
And he really tried to make the relationship with Bethany work, but when it got rocky - he didn't know what to do. He honestly never expected Bethany to dump him after one mistake, that he didn't feel was entirely his fault. He just didn't understand how the relationship was supposed to work. His only knowledge of romantic relationships came from the books he read - and ppl in those made mistakes all the time, but still go to keep the relationship - it was all he knew and it really upset him that instead of teaching him, she left him to try to figure it out on his own - and he just couldn't do it.